After a crazy month of sequining, stoning, and {OMG} so much sewing, I sort of forgot that I was in charge of feeding my baby something other than milk. Oops. While pregnant I decided that as long as I was cloth diapering, exclusively breastfeeding and learning to work impossibly aggravating baby wraps, that I might as well just go ahead and sell my entire soul to the Evil Hippie Overlords and make my own baby food. I had book-marked a bunch of baby food sites but never really dug in because having a baby who was ready to eat solids felt an eon away at the time. Then one day I was eating yogurt and saw Ezra’s eyes follow each bite I took, then he started reaching for the spoon, open-mouthed and drooling and oh, silly baby- you can’t have real-people food! You have months…hmm…weeks…uh… Then I checked the calendar and realized the child was five and a half months old and MORE than ready to make his first foray into the smooshy stuff. I’m sorry your mom’s so dumb, baby.

I spent an afternoon perusing the saved baby food sites, wary that I would have to run out and purchase expensive food processors and/or baby food makers and all the accessories necessary but I ended up on a great site that explained that smooshy bananas? Are just smooshed up bananas, you idiot. Add some breastmilk to thin those suckers out and you’re good to go. Got an ice-cube tray? Put leftovers in there and pull out when needed. DONE. They suggested we start with bananas and avocados and from there we can get more adventurous. Obviously once he moves on to veggies and other fruits we’ll have to break out the steamer and I might have to learn to turn the oven on at some point {What?!} but they recommended we skip the expensive baby food makers and just go with a cheap mini food processor, making this whole thing seem a lot more doable. I mean, for real? I don’t even make my OWN food. That’s why I keep Bill around. I think I can do this though, so baby {food} steps, and all that.

4.18.11 4.18.12 4.18.13

For his first feeding I gave him rice cereal which he ate but sort of begrudgingly, like, “look, woman, I can see you have the camera out and I’m supposed to perform here so I will, but just so you know, this shit’s kinda gross”. Then I made the bananas and WOW. He ate them right up, guiding the spoon into his own mouth when I’d get distracted. After a few days he rejected rice cereal all-together, he didn’t get upset I was offering it, he just wouldn’t open his mouth for the spoon after the first bite, and if I did manage to trick him he’d just lazily let it dribble out of his mouth and down his chin. The next food item on the list was avocado so in preparation I had mashed up two, thinned them with breastmilk and filled almost a whole ice-cube tray. I was Baby Food Making Queen of Awesomeness. Avocado is a Super Food. And just a really super food, I mean come on, guacamole is god’s gift to us lowly humans, people.

So, here’s what Ezra thought {apologies for the crappy cell phone pictures, it just so happened to be laying next to me so I caught the moment with it, it’s not like I had a shiny, new-to-me Canon 7D lying around anywhere, ohshitwellANYWAY, here are my blurry pictures}  …

OK, Lady! Bring on that smooshy banana!

OK, Lady! Bring on that smooshy banana!

What. Is. This. Green. Shit.?

Um, this is NOT banana.

What. Is. This. Green. Shit?

WHAT IS THIS GREEN SHIT?

Fine. Maybe I judged prematurely. I'll try it again and maybe this time it will be bananas...

Fine. I could have judged prematurely. I’ll try it again and maybe this time it will be bananas…

Nope! Still terrible!

Nope! Still not bananas! Still terrible!

What are you trying to do to me, Lady? Was I bad? Why would you put that on a spoon and try to put it anywhere near my mouth?!

What are you trying to do to me, Lady? Was I bad? Why would you put that on a spoon and try to put it anywhere near my mouth?!

I don't understand! Get it away from me JUSTGETITAWAY. I don't even want to look at you right now.

I don’t understand! Get it away from me, JUSTGETITAWAY. I don’t even want to look at you right now.

ohmygod WHY IS THAT CRAP STILL HERE? DId you not here me? Was I not clear? Cause I can be super clear...

Ohmygod WHY IS THAT CRAP STILL HERE? Did you not hear me? Was I not clear? Cause I can be super clear…

Waaaaaahhhhhhhhvvvacccaaaddooossss are...

Waaaaaahhhhhhhhvvvacccaaaddooossss are…

NOT ACCEPTABLE IN MY MOUTH.

NOT ACCEPTABLE IN MY MOUTH.

So now I have a freezer full of avocado… if anyone wants to come over, bring the chips! I’ve made delicious guacamole and the secret ingredient will only completely gross you out a little.

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